HP: Memories 7/12
Jan. 12th, 2006 12:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wildernesstalesRating: G
Summary: Sirius escapes and returns to Hogwarts… (I’m not getting any better at this whole summary thing as you can tell…)
Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Archive: Please?
Disclaimer: As per usual, the good things in life are not mine to have, but belong to someone else... in this case, the wonderful JK Rowling and all associated parties (including Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, Warner Bros. Inc.)
Warnings: Major spoilers for Prisoner of Azkaban.
Authors Note: Feedback makes friends.
Italics are diary entries.
Professor Dumbledore came to see me last night. He wants to help me. He’s offered me a job.
~*~
Remus was the first to board the train. He found an empty compartment and settled himself in the corner, wrapped up in his cloak. He still felt the lingering aches and pains from full moon and was exhausted. He slept soundly, barely rousing when the door was slid open and people entered his compartment. Even the train lurching to a stop failed to wake him fully.
It was the sinking dark feeling of dread and despair that woke him up.
First day in the job and I have to repel a Dementor. I guess that’s to be expected. Sirius Black escaped a few weeks ago. I heard about it from Professor Dumbledore himself. He came to see me the very night it happened. That was when he first mentioned the job. He’d been keeping an eye on me for twelve years. He knew I’d travelled and had the experience he said. Defence Against the Dark Arts professor he said.
Sirius would have laughed and said it was perfect for me.
Sirius.
He’s probably the reason I have the job. Dumbledore said I would be safe at Hogwarts. Do they think Sirius is going to come after me?
Remus stared around his office, his meagre possessions now scattered everywhere. It felt strange to be back here. Albus Dumbledore had just left after bringing him up to date on recent events. Without thinking, he pulled out his diary.
Voldemort is getting stronger. Apparently, they’re saying that’s the reason Sirius broke out of Azkaban. To return to his master. How is it you can live with someone for so long and not know where their loyalties truly lie?
It’s taken me twelve years and I still can’t understand why he did it.
I’m glad Harry survived. He’s so much like his father. James would have been so proud. But his eyes, the green… it’s Lily. They’re Lily’s eyes. It hurts seeing him. A living reminder of what I’ve lost.
~*~
“Well class, I think that’s enough for today.” Remus said as brightly as he could. He watched as the third years filed out of the staff room, chattering animatedly about how they’d each defeated their Boggart. Harry lingered behind as though he was waiting to ask a question. Remus ignored him, fairly sure what he was going to ask and not prepared to answer it yet.
The Boggart when he faced it had drained him more than he thought it would. For a fleeting moment, he thought it would turn into Sirius. There had been a definite human form before the orb had appeared, but he left the staffroom ahead of Harry, convincing himself it was his mind playing tricks; a residual image of Harry’s Boggart, nothing more.
One of the advantages of being back here is the Wolfsbane Potion. Professor Dumbledore has ordered Severus to make it for me. He still hasn’t forgiven me, and I don’t blame him. But at least I’m safe taking the potion. It still hurts, but I’m not dangerous. Just a harmless old wolf.
Although Severus still maintains I’m going to help Sirius into the castle. There are fears he’s after Harry. Harry wants me to help him battle the Dementors. They affect him badly, which given the horrors he has suffered is hardly surprising.
~*~
Three slabs of chocolate later and Harry had produced a weak Patronus.
“Very good Harry.” Remus said encouragingly, handing him a particularly large slab of chocolate. “Eat all that before you go.” He lowered himself wearily down to the floor next to Harry, both of them staring at the chest holding the Boggart. He nibbled a bit of chocolate himself, thinking about his own Patronus and the memory he used to conjure it. There was once a time when it had been a memory of Sirius. Well, that was a lie; it was still Sirius that occupied his thoughts, only now instead of the bright images that filled his mind, it was now Sirius cowering with fear as Remus delivered the final curse.
Remus shook his head to rid himself of the thought and heaved himself off the floor.
“Time to go Harry.”
I confiscated the Map off Harry last night. I have no idea how he got it. I know Filch had it back when I was at school. He’d confiscated it off James one day when he’d caught him doing… well, something. James never told us the full story, only that Filch had got the Map.
I felt embarrassed when I saw that Map, and I probably got more angry with Harry that I should have done. But had Sirius got that Map, it would have led him straight to him.
Remus stared at the Map, watching the dots move around hurriedly. He remembered how long it took them to make it, but it gave him little satisfaction now.
He gazed out of the window. It would be full moon soon, and Severus was due with his Wolfsbane Potion any moment.
Scurrying dots on the Map drew his attention back to it and he watched, fascinated as he saw Sirius Black’s name dart across the parchment. He gave a silent gasp as he recognised another name.
Peter Pettigrew.
Without a second thought, he was racing out the door, down towards the Whomping Willow.
It’s over.
All over.
I’ve resigned. I may have lost my job, but I have gained so much more.
My memory of last night is very sketchy. Sirius was there. He didn’t betray Lily and James. It was Peter.
I’d known Sirius was Lily and James’ Secret Keeper. We all did. That’s why he was chased after they… after that night.
What we didn’t know was that he’d persuaded Lily and James to change their Secret Keeper at the last minute. He never told anyone because we knew there was a spy in our midst. And it was Peter. Peter the spy, Peter the Secret Keeper.
He’s escaped now, but Sirius is free. I don’t know what happened. Professor Dumbledore explained what happened after I transformed, but I don’t think I understood all of it. I’m still reeling. The man I loved, the man I thought betrayed those closest to him, the man I hated… is free. And innocent.
~*~
“Sirius…” Remus croaked as he appeared in front of him.
“Moony. I should have told you.” Sirius staggered and dropped to his knees. Remus held out his hand and pulled him back to his feet. They sat down together on the sofa.
“I think I understand Sirius.”
“I knew you weren’t the spy Moony, really I did. I just couldn’t take any chances.” He said hoarsely.
“I know Sirius. I… I forgive you. If you can forgive me for hating you for so long? If I’d have found you before Peter…” he trailed off, staring into the fireplace, anywhere but at Sirius. He flinched as he felt Sirius’ hand cover his own; dry lips brushing against the tips of his fingers, a gesture so reminiscent of twelve years ago that Remus let out a sob.
“Love you Moony.”
“Love you Sirius.” He echoed.
We talked for hours. About what had happened. I think we’ve got things sorted. I don’t think things will ever be the same again. Too much has happened. But I’m happy that he’s alive and innocent. He’s gone into hiding now. I don’t know when I’ll see him again.
But I know I will.
~*~*~
Remus raked a shaky hand through his hair. The memories were still vivid. The image of Sirius sitting in his living room, gaunt and bedraggled. Looking like Remus did after full moon. He smiled briefly. They’d spent that night wrapped in each other’s arms; neither sleeping, each afraid that the other one wouldn’t be there if they slept.
A brief kiss was all they’d shared before Sirius disappeared the next morning. A kiss so needy and full of promises that Remus could still taste it. He raised a finger to his lips and sighed.
He may not have Sirius anymore, but he had the memories they made together.
Summary: Sirius escapes and returns to Hogwarts… (I’m not getting any better at this whole summary thing as you can tell…)
Pairings: Remus/Sirius
Archive: Please?
Disclaimer: As per usual, the good things in life are not mine to have, but belong to someone else... in this case, the wonderful JK Rowling and all associated parties (including Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, Raincoast Books, Warner Bros. Inc.)
Warnings: Major spoilers for Prisoner of Azkaban.
Authors Note: Feedback makes friends.
Italics are diary entries.
Professor Dumbledore came to see me last night. He wants to help me. He’s offered me a job.
Remus was the first to board the train. He found an empty compartment and settled himself in the corner, wrapped up in his cloak. He still felt the lingering aches and pains from full moon and was exhausted. He slept soundly, barely rousing when the door was slid open and people entered his compartment. Even the train lurching to a stop failed to wake him fully.
It was the sinking dark feeling of dread and despair that woke him up.
First day in the job and I have to repel a Dementor. I guess that’s to be expected. Sirius Black escaped a few weeks ago. I heard about it from Professor Dumbledore himself. He came to see me the very night it happened. That was when he first mentioned the job. He’d been keeping an eye on me for twelve years. He knew I’d travelled and had the experience he said. Defence Against the Dark Arts professor he said.
Sirius would have laughed and said it was perfect for me.
Sirius.
He’s probably the reason I have the job. Dumbledore said I would be safe at Hogwarts. Do they think Sirius is going to come after me?
Remus stared around his office, his meagre possessions now scattered everywhere. It felt strange to be back here. Albus Dumbledore had just left after bringing him up to date on recent events. Without thinking, he pulled out his diary.
Voldemort is getting stronger. Apparently, they’re saying that’s the reason Sirius broke out of Azkaban. To return to his master. How is it you can live with someone for so long and not know where their loyalties truly lie?
It’s taken me twelve years and I still can’t understand why he did it.
I’m glad Harry survived. He’s so much like his father. James would have been so proud. But his eyes, the green… it’s Lily. They’re Lily’s eyes. It hurts seeing him. A living reminder of what I’ve lost.
“Well class, I think that’s enough for today.” Remus said as brightly as he could. He watched as the third years filed out of the staff room, chattering animatedly about how they’d each defeated their Boggart. Harry lingered behind as though he was waiting to ask a question. Remus ignored him, fairly sure what he was going to ask and not prepared to answer it yet.
The Boggart when he faced it had drained him more than he thought it would. For a fleeting moment, he thought it would turn into Sirius. There had been a definite human form before the orb had appeared, but he left the staffroom ahead of Harry, convincing himself it was his mind playing tricks; a residual image of Harry’s Boggart, nothing more.
One of the advantages of being back here is the Wolfsbane Potion. Professor Dumbledore has ordered Severus to make it for me. He still hasn’t forgiven me, and I don’t blame him. But at least I’m safe taking the potion. It still hurts, but I’m not dangerous. Just a harmless old wolf.
Although Severus still maintains I’m going to help Sirius into the castle. There are fears he’s after Harry. Harry wants me to help him battle the Dementors. They affect him badly, which given the horrors he has suffered is hardly surprising.
Three slabs of chocolate later and Harry had produced a weak Patronus.
“Very good Harry.” Remus said encouragingly, handing him a particularly large slab of chocolate. “Eat all that before you go.” He lowered himself wearily down to the floor next to Harry, both of them staring at the chest holding the Boggart. He nibbled a bit of chocolate himself, thinking about his own Patronus and the memory he used to conjure it. There was once a time when it had been a memory of Sirius. Well, that was a lie; it was still Sirius that occupied his thoughts, only now instead of the bright images that filled his mind, it was now Sirius cowering with fear as Remus delivered the final curse.
Remus shook his head to rid himself of the thought and heaved himself off the floor.
“Time to go Harry.”
I confiscated the Map off Harry last night. I have no idea how he got it. I know Filch had it back when I was at school. He’d confiscated it off James one day when he’d caught him doing… well, something. James never told us the full story, only that Filch had got the Map.
I felt embarrassed when I saw that Map, and I probably got more angry with Harry that I should have done. But had Sirius got that Map, it would have led him straight to him.
Remus stared at the Map, watching the dots move around hurriedly. He remembered how long it took them to make it, but it gave him little satisfaction now.
He gazed out of the window. It would be full moon soon, and Severus was due with his Wolfsbane Potion any moment.
Scurrying dots on the Map drew his attention back to it and he watched, fascinated as he saw Sirius Black’s name dart across the parchment. He gave a silent gasp as he recognised another name.
Peter Pettigrew.
Without a second thought, he was racing out the door, down towards the Whomping Willow.
It’s over.
All over.
I’ve resigned. I may have lost my job, but I have gained so much more.
My memory of last night is very sketchy. Sirius was there. He didn’t betray Lily and James. It was Peter.
I’d known Sirius was Lily and James’ Secret Keeper. We all did. That’s why he was chased after they… after that night.
What we didn’t know was that he’d persuaded Lily and James to change their Secret Keeper at the last minute. He never told anyone because we knew there was a spy in our midst. And it was Peter. Peter the spy, Peter the Secret Keeper.
He’s escaped now, but Sirius is free. I don’t know what happened. Professor Dumbledore explained what happened after I transformed, but I don’t think I understood all of it. I’m still reeling. The man I loved, the man I thought betrayed those closest to him, the man I hated… is free. And innocent.
“Sirius…” Remus croaked as he appeared in front of him.
“Moony. I should have told you.” Sirius staggered and dropped to his knees. Remus held out his hand and pulled him back to his feet. They sat down together on the sofa.
“I think I understand Sirius.”
“I knew you weren’t the spy Moony, really I did. I just couldn’t take any chances.” He said hoarsely.
“I know Sirius. I… I forgive you. If you can forgive me for hating you for so long? If I’d have found you before Peter…” he trailed off, staring into the fireplace, anywhere but at Sirius. He flinched as he felt Sirius’ hand cover his own; dry lips brushing against the tips of his fingers, a gesture so reminiscent of twelve years ago that Remus let out a sob.
“Love you Moony.”
“Love you Sirius.” He echoed.
We talked for hours. About what had happened. I think we’ve got things sorted. I don’t think things will ever be the same again. Too much has happened. But I’m happy that he’s alive and innocent. He’s gone into hiding now. I don’t know when I’ll see him again.
But I know I will.
Remus raked a shaky hand through his hair. The memories were still vivid. The image of Sirius sitting in his living room, gaunt and bedraggled. Looking like Remus did after full moon. He smiled briefly. They’d spent that night wrapped in each other’s arms; neither sleeping, each afraid that the other one wouldn’t be there if they slept.
A brief kiss was all they’d shared before Sirius disappeared the next morning. A kiss so needy and full of promises that Remus could still taste it. He raised a finger to his lips and sighed.
He may not have Sirius anymore, but he had the memories they made together.
